Lull
by Yukiharu Hime
Summary: Being loved and loving someone aren't something he is used to, yet. But he is always trying to be the best for them. (tsurunba yasunba) For Touken Ranbu Secret Santa 2017. [Cross-post from AO3.]


Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at works/13067559 by Clover_Zero on 2017-12-19

Disclaimer: Touken Ranbu (c) DMMゲームズ and Nitroplus.  
Warning: Bad English. Sorry for grammars and other mistakes.

For Touken Ranbu Secret Santa 2017! For twitter user fuurin_ya! Merry Christmas and happy holiday! I hope you like it. I'm confused to pick what pairing since you said anything is fine, so here's a trio I want. I've always liked this combo, so I'm very happy to finally write it. I drew last year so it's time to write this year!

[Notes for FFn only: **Hello, this is Clover_Zero** with a joint account between me and my sister. Yes, I finally decided to cross-post some of my fanfics here, but I'm seriously not going to make a new account. However some settings in FFn aren't just my liking, and if I post everything here I'd have to edit a lot of things, which would be tiring, so I'll just post my bigger fanfics as promotion. **If you want more, please visit my AO3**. This is my newest oneshot as a test, and I'll see how the reception goes. Why did I finally choose to cross-post, you ask? Well, I just found out Manba-chan love here is quite big...no, it's small, but I'm so happy to see rare ships exist! Especially in Indonesian, because I'm Indonesian.]

* * *

"It's snowing," Yamanbagiri mumbles, seeing the balls of white falling from the sky, slowly covering the world in white. His breath is also white; the coldness of winter pierces his body as he fixes his scarf position.

"Waah, it is." Yamato looks up at the same direction as he gazes upon. "I heard this is called white Christmas. Everyone must be excited, even though it's a foreign custom."

"Because it's Christmas and there's snow, huh..."

He remembers how most swords were excited on decorating Christmas trees and the citadel with wreaths and lights. These wall decorations are almost everywhere around citadel.

"When the snow piles up, do you want to play with it, Manba-chan?" Tsurumaru, standing next to him, asks.

"I bet you want it," Yamato jabs in.

"I'm sure we won't be able to see you if you're playing with snow, Tsurumaru."

"My skin isn't really pale, you know. So, do you want to play or not?"

Yamanbagiri shakes his head, wondering why he is so insistent on asking. "No. It's already late at night, and it's really cold."

"Morning, then?"

"I don't know if I can stand holding snow in early morning."

"If you're cold," Yamato takes Yamanbagiri's hands and blows them, his breath tickling his skin, warming him up. "We can do this and warm you up!"

"No, no, even better," Tsurumaru closes in and wraps his arms around his waist, hugging him from behind. "This is the best way to warm you up."

Yamanbagiri blinks a few times, at loss for words. "I still feel cold, though."

"Then~" Yamato hugs him from front, "Now this is perfect, right?"

"...Yeah."

Being sandwiched by two people actually feels pleasant, most likely because Yamato is smaller than him. He can feel their affection towards him, enveloping him in warmth, both inside and outside his body.

This happiness tastes sweet, comforting and peaceful, and he doesn't want to let go.

Still, sometimes, he can't help but to wonder why these two love him very much. Sometimes he wonders if he really deserves their love.

Being loved and loving someone aren't something he is used to, yet.

.

.

Tonight, they're sleeping together in his room.

It's a rare occurrence – in fact, this is the first time, because his two brothers are overly protective about him. He managed to get them to agree with excuse that Christmas Eve is special. They can't really refuse him when he is so determined and on the verge of (fake) crying.

Sliding the door open, Yamanbagiri lets his two guests into the room and turns on the heater – which is a new addition in everyone's rooms.

"Sheesh...it's so cold outside," Tsurumaru complains as he takes off his scarf and _haori_ and puts them in a shelf.

Yamato follows him, putting his scarf and _haori._ "I've never thought winter is _this_ harsh, even harsher because snowfall," he chuckles bitterly. "And it's just the beginning, too! I miss spring already."

"It's better than summer at least," Yamanbagiri says, taking off his scarf. It's actually Yamato's spare scarf because he doesn't have one, but he gave it to him. It still smells like Yamato, making him feel a bit weird whenever he uses it. He takes off his cloak as well, now comfortable to be _naked_ with them. "What are we going to do now?"

"Do you want to continue that hugging session?" Tsurumaru asks, shooting him a wink.

"Mm...sure."

"Huh?"

"Eh?"

"...What?"

Hearing their yelp, Yamanbagiri stares at them weirdly, finding that they're both frozen. _Did I say something wrong?_ He wonders, getting a bit worried by their reaction. This is probably the first time the two of them are shocked at the same time.

"W-What's wrong?"

"No, umm, I don't expect you to agree...so, ahaha!" Tsurumaru replies, laughing awkwardly as he scratches the back of his hair. His cheeks are turning red, and obviously not from cold.

"What do you think I am?" He heaves a sigh before slightly turning his head away from them, "Even I...want...it...too, you know."

"Ehehehe. I'm happy if you want it, Yamanbagiri," Yamato smiles bashfully. "I'll make sure to warm you up thoroughly."

"That's the heater's job, not yours."

"Well, it's getting late anyway. We can just go to sleep," Tsurumaru says, stretching his arms. "We've spent enough time playing around."

"Really? I'm still not satisfied." Yamato puffs his cheeks, crossing his hands over his chest.

Yamanbagiri strokes his head. "Help me lay the _futons_ first."

He looks like he wants to reject him, but all he does is just nodding with a pout. "If you say so, then..."

They take out _futons_ , pillows and blankets from the shelf, laying them on the floor. It proceeds smoothly without any trouble, and before long, they lie down on the sheets, with Yamato laying his head on Yamanbagiri's chest, and Tsurumaru hugging him from behind. Trapped between their body and heat below the blanket makes him nervous, conscious of their small movements and breaths touching him.

"Wait. Manba-chan, do you sleep with the lights on?" Tsurumaru asks right next to Yamanbagiri's ear, sending shiver down his spine.

"N-Not necessarily. I can sleep with or without."

"Ooh, that's nice. I can only sleep with lights off," Yamato says, "But then I won't be able to see your cute sleeping face clearly in the morning."

"Don't tell me you plan on doing stuffs when he's asleep," Tsurumaru says with a rather nasty glare that is so unlike him.

"I won't! I'll just admire his face...ehehehe..."

"That laugh is just ominous. I feel like it'll be dangerous for me," Yamanbagiri sweats.

Yamato lifts his head slightly, staring directly at his eyes and puffs his cheeks. He looks so adorable when he's sulking like this; Yamanbagiri just wants to spoil him rotten. He strokes his head and plays around with his untied wild hair, his lips forming a smile when he sees how happy Yamato looks, reminding him of a puppy.

Seeing this, Tsurumaru's face twists in dissatisfaction. "Manba-chan."

"Hmm?"

"Look here."

When Yamanbagiri turns his head, he is instantly greeted by Tsurumaru's face, and their lips meet in a kiss. His lips are cold, clashing against Yamanbagiri's warm lips, and it feels really weird for him. He moves slightly, sucking his lips even deeper as the blond-haired sword lies frozen, too shocked to even react. Before pulling away, Tsurumaru licks his lips one last time, grinning.

"Don't forget about me, Manba-chan."

He kisses his cheek, tickling him even further.

Yamanbagiri is sure that his face must be completely red right now, but he would gladly show that rare expression to his boyfriends. There's no need to be shy, not anymore. This is probably the best he can do to give back what they gave him; being expressive about his feelings towards them, because he is still lost on what he should do to be a good boyfriend.

He ruffles Tsurumaru's white hair. "I won't forget you, really."

Tsurumaru leans to his touch. "Just a reminder."

"Acting jealous? You can be unexpectedly normal, aren't you, Tsurumaru?" Yamato says with a small laugh.

"I am normal, you aren't!"

"Excuse me, I'm _completely_ normal. Just love struck."

This time, Yamato is the one to pull Yamanbagiri and kisses his lips. His lips are way warmer than Tsurumaru's, but he kisses him more roughly, as if he is hungry for him. He shudders feeling this emotion, but before long, Yamato pulls away and kisses his forehead, somewhat shyly. He stares at him and smiles.

"Ehehe. You're so cute."

 _Yamato sure likes to chuckle,_ Yamanbagiri thinks idly, taking a mental note. "Thanks, I guess."

"Blushing just makes me blush too, you know?" Tsurumaru says, poking his cheek. Sure enough, his cheeks are colored in faint pink, very striking on his pale skin.

Seeing their smiling faces make him warm, a desire welling up inside him to make them happy, to embrace them and kiss them, showering them with love confessions – not that he can do that, way too embarrassing, but he really wants to make them happy. As a boyfriend, how can he achieve that?

While thinking of ways to make them happy as he strokes their heads, a breeze passes by.

Just then he realizes how cold his body feels. His toes feel like freezing. How can he just realize this? Only his chest and heart are warm.

"Is it just me, or..." His eyes trail to the heater at the corner of the room, "It's just getting colder?"

"I feel it too," Yamato shivers.

"Wait, I'll check the heater. The one in my room is broken, so maybe..." Tsurumaru stands up and walks wobbly to the heater, checking it. After a few minutes, his shoulders slump down before he turns his head with a sad expression. "Yep. It's broken, all right."

"Oh god, no! This is why master shouldn't have thrown away _kotatsu_ and everything below!" Yamato yelps. "I've said it to them, really..."

Yamanbagiri sighs, ruffling his hair. "I knew it'll break...it was being weird earlier. Sorry."

"No problem. I'm now used to sleep without heater, and..."

"And we have you as a natural heater, Yamanbagiri."

He smiles hearing their replies. Before Tsurumaru can go back and slip in the sheets, Yamato stands up and rushes to the nearest window, opening it.

"What are you doing?!" Tsurumaru shouts in disbelief as the cold, powerful wind immediately slips inside the room, covering his face with his arm.

The wind even makes blankets flutter, their bangs swaying and hide their faces. Yamato looks like a ghost from behind in the midst of that, especially with his hair swinging wildly, with the snowfall and white-blanketed world as the background.

"Oh, it's starting to pile up," Yamato says, slightly shivering from the cold. "I have an urge to bury Tsurumaru there and try to find him. Why don't we do it tomorrow?"

"Oi, that'll kill me!" Tsurumaru rejects the idea, his hands hugging his own body. "Close the window already. It's really cold, and the night with white spots is just scary for me."

"But you're white?" Yamanbagiri asks.

"This and that are different."

"Let's make ourselves cold so that we can snuggle Yamanbagiri to feel much better!"

"I approve throwing Tsurumaru there, but the second part is just suicidal," he replies, clutching the blanket close, imagining how cold their bodies will be if this continues and shivers. "Yamato, close the window or I won't hug you."

"W-Why?"

He glares at him, as sharp as possible. " _Close_ the window."

"Okaay..."

Yamato reluctantly closes the window, but the room is still in a very low temperature. He and Tsurumaru walk wobbly, faces tense from the cold, and slip themselves below the blanket. Yamanbagiri sighs before he pulls up the blankets for them.

"I-It was a bad idea, after all," Yamato says, teeth chattering as he reaches for Yamanbagiri's hand and twines their fingers together. His hand is cold as expected, but he doesn't pull away, holding him close to his chest.

"That's quite a quick realization."

"Take responsibility, Yasusada," Tsurumaru says, his hands wrapping around Yamanbagiri's waist, pushing him to turn his body like the first position. "You're still warm...so nice."

"I'll complain about the heater tomorrow, okay. For now...Yamanbagiri~" Yamato pushes his head closer and kisses his lips. "I think it will get way warmer if we kiss each other like this."

"R-Really?"

"You just want to kiss him, and it'll get hotter in a different way," Tsurumaru says with a doubtful voice, peeking over Yamanbagiri's shoulder, "But well, I don't miss kissing Manba-chan."

"I thought we are going to _sleep._ "

"It's just to warm ourselves up, so when we're tired we can fall asleep quickly," Yamato exclaims, looking up to him with glittering, hopeful eyes. "Okay? This is a special day. Just for today, sleeping late and waking up later."

These eyes are incredibly dangerous, Yamanbagiri is wavering.

"Hmm...come to think of it, I've heard that couples give each other gifts in Christmas," Tsurumaru mumbles, remembering the fact, "But we didn't do any of that, huh."

"Giving one's heart and body are enough, right? I've given everything to Yamanbagiri, so now is time to spend time together, relaxing, making each other happy. Materialistic happiness is not that important, unless, well...Yamanbagiri wants it."

Yamanbagiri's cheeks flushed red. "The way you can say that so nonchalantly is just..."

"Ehehehehehe."

"That sounds even creepier than usual," Tsurumaru laughs awkwardly, "But you're right for once. Manba-chan, are you happy with this? With this kind of _gift?_ "

Yamato seems like he wants to retort, but he shuts his mouth. Yamanbagiri turns his body so he stares at the ceiling, his two boyfriends waiting for his reply, their hands reaching for him, intertwining their fingers. Their fingers feel warm and nice.

"Well...I'm fine with this, really. I'm happy like this."

He feels his chest tightens. He really is happy to be with the two them, touching each other and feel their warmth. The fuzzy and warm feeling he feels is already overwhelming, so much he is afraid he might drown. There's nothing else he needs.

"But, umm..."

Seeing and feeling his boyfriends' intrigued eyes focused on him, he stutters on his words, almost failing out of panic, trying to grasp the words he wants to convey.

"I, uh...I don't know if I deserve your love. I'm still lost on it, but I really don't want to let the both of you slip from my hands...and, uh, this thing is still new for me. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend, so please tell me what I can do...or what you want. Uh, yeah."

His hand automatically reaches for his head to pull his hood to cover his embarrassment, but he only grasps air as he isn't wearing his cloak today. He proceeds to slightly hide his face with his hand, peeking to see their reactions.

"Manba-chan," Tsurumaru whispers in an unusually gentle voice, very uncharacteristically from him. He takes his hand again. "Everyone deserves love. That includes you."

"But I'm just a mere duplicate..."

"You are still _you_ , even if your appearance and name are somebody else's."

"That's right." Yamato lightly kisses his cheek. "Because you're _you_ , that we fell in love. We've accepted that."

Yamanbagiri feels like dying, his heart is about to leap, beating so fast and loud when he sees their gentle expressions. He already knows their answer on that topic, but it's still hard to accept. He is not used on being the receiver of such affection.

Tsurumaru puts his hand on his cheek. _Cold._ "And you're a good boyfriend already, really."

"Really? Like how...? Even though it's my selfishness that made this relationship..."

"There are way too many things to show that you're a good boyfriend," Yamato chuckles, "But, well, if I have to give an example, it's this situation. You treat us well and we feel happy, so there's no dissatisfaction. Right, Tsurumaru?"

"Yep. This is enough for us, Manba-chan. Our wish is to stay with you, and you granted that."

"Do you wish to be with us?"

Their expectant expressions make Yamanbagiri holds his breath. "I...I do."

"Then it's all good." Tsurumaru smiles and kisses the back of his hand. "Because you're a good boyfriend, this kind of unlikely relationship goes well."

"Is...that so?" He is still unable to accept their words, but a smile forms on his lips.

"Of course, Tsurumaru and I are still at each other's throats, but if it's for you, then we can get along just fine!" Yamato says.

"No, um, that's just you bullying me, so I have to do self-defense for my life."

Yamanbagiri chuckles seeing Yamato chops Tsurumaru's head with his hand. "Thank you...I'm so – "

"Whoops!" Tsurumaru puts a finger on his lips almost immediately, "You don't have to apologize. In fact, don't say it or I'll kiss you."

"O-Okay..." Yamanbagiri stares at him, stunned, and after a pause when he mulls over his reply, he continues, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"And when I told you to not say it..."

He tilts his head, as if confused.

"I said it thrice, so kiss me thrice now?"

Silence.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

Four seconds.

Five seconds.

"T-T-That's so unfair it's great?!" Tsurumaru reacts first, clutching his chest, another hand on his nose as if holding a nosebleed, completely exaggerated, as if he is badly hurt. And indeed he is. "That cuteness just pierces me straight into my heart!"

"I'll kiss you! I'll kiss you endlessly, Yamanbagiri~!" Yamato says, shaking his head in excitement before he jumps to embrace him tightly.

"Me too! And hey, he's replying to me!" Tsurumaru doesn't want to lose and also jump on him, embracing him while shaking his head, tickling his cheek, even sharper than Yamato's hair.

It's a very fluffy and painful double attack.

"I appreciate that, but um, you're choking me right now."

"It's also for warming ourselves up, it'll be comfortable soon, Manba-chan."

"Don't we at least have to turn off the lights?"

"That's alright, I'm sure your warmth and scent will make me fall asleep!" Yamato says, his face is red in shyness, but there's no shame in his words at all.

"That's a bit too much, I think," Yamanbagiri sweats, "But anything for the two of you. I'll try my best...I love the two of you."

"I love you too, Manba-chan."

"I love you, Yamanbagiri."

He just lays there when they kisses his cheeks from both sides. As the response, he shyly kisses their foreheads, from Yamato and then Tsurumaru. Giggling at the tickling feeling, Yamanbagiri realizes the coldness doesn't bother him now, and wishes the two to feel the same. His heart and body feel warm and he wants to spread it to them as they embrace each other, slowly but surely falling to sleep.

Being loved and loving someone aren't something he is used to, yet. But he is always trying to be the best for them.

-END-


End file.
